With Memorial Day behind us and many states and counties allowing their mask mandates to expire with the end of May, our American society is beginning to re-emerge from the pandemic isolation in a more assertive way. In the last two weeks I have attended both a wedding and a high school graduation. Both were held outside. Few wore masks. As we were walking through the post- graduation crush of families searching for their graduates for those photo ops, my daughter said to me, “It’s a good thing we’re vaccinated.” Most of us are going to be going through some re-entry adjustments and anxiety as we prepare to “gather” as we once did - without any thought.
Just as it was a shock to our systems and psyches to go into a sudden “lockdown”, the same will be the case as we begin to stick our heads, bodies, and emotions back out into social situations with more and more people. A little anxiety is to be expected and very normal. Inspired by a recent Time magazine story, below are a few tips to think about as you find your comfort zone.
1. It is totally okay for you and your family to decide what is best for you. Right now (as I write this blog), most children are not eligible for a vaccine. Have honest conversations within your family about what feels right for you, given your particular situation concerning health conditions and values. I would suggest that parents/partners have discussions first before including extended family members. I would think that it might create some uncomfortable moments to have a partner agree to attend an event without checking it out with their better half. These discussions may need to occur across several conversations before you feel ready to include family members. Then you may need to be prepared for a variety of responses/reactions.
2. Take a page out of what we psychologists call systematic desensitization. Consider your vaccination and health status. Look at the latest science-based recommendations. Then create a hierarchy of anxiety provoking situations. List them from low anxiety to high anxiety. Start to engage with the low anxiety situations first. For many of us, that was/is going to an outdoor restaurant with only our family. Then we might be ready to move up the hierarchy to an outdoor restaurant with our family and one other family. Then we might be ready to dine in-doors with our family, and so on…as you ease your way to the family reunion.
3. If you are feeling a little weird taking off your mask, you could do a little cognitive self-talk. Ground yourself in reality and today. For example, you might say to yourself, today is summer 2021 which is different than summer 2020. You could look at a calendar. You could ground yourself in the facts by looking at the vaccination rates and the COVID positivity rates in your community to help you cognitively see the difference between then and now. You could also be kind to yourself by saying “It totally makes sense that given the trauma and stress of the past year, that I would feel strange removing something that I’ve been strongly advised to use to protect myself and others.” This type of validation and affirming self-talk accepts your anxiety as normal under these unusual circumstances. Probably most of us, will still be keeping a mask handy in our car or purse for venues, such as health care settings, that will still require a mask.
4. Finally, allow yourself to ENJOY being with others. PROCESS with loved ones how much you’ve missed them and how good it FEELS to be together again. Tell your stories of the past year. GO AT YOUR OWN PACE. Don’t hesitate to seek out a mental health professional if needed.
Take good care and enjoy the glorious days of summer