I have been LEARNING. I am working on becoming a Gottman Level One Trainer, so I needed to complete Drs. Gottman and Jacobson’s book on domestic violence When Men Batter Women. I’ve learned about two types of batterers: “pit bulls and cobras”, as well as the best ways to support a woman considering leaving a violent relationship. I really appreciated the authors’ consistent emphasis on the bravery of women who participated in their study. One big take-home from the book was the importance of making sure that you connect individuals experiencing violence to experienced clinicians and good services. So, I’d like to share some resources if you need them personally, or if you need them for a friend or family member.
Safehome-KS – Johnson & Miami county shelters + Free 24-Hour HOTLINE (913) 262-2868
MOCSA’s website provides a list of safe Missouri shelters + HOTLINE
I also read about a new app which is called DocuSafe which was created by the National Network to End Domestic Violence. According to the August 2020 Hownikan (the monthly publication of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation):
“The app was released in May of 2020 and is available for iPhone and iPad users only. The app allows the victim to upload images and videos for safekeeping with secure technology. It also allows the user to send materials to trusted contacts and catalogue evidence for law enforcement, attorneys, and advocates. The DocuSafe app also includes information and resources to help the victim better understand the many different forms of domestic violence. By storing documentation of abuse in one central location, victims can easily identify the abuse that is happening to them and prepare for possible escalation of their perpetrator’s behavior.
Not every person in an intimate partner relationship experiencing violence believes it is abuse. The app will provide helpful information to these victims and being able to see all the red flags together can bring that to light. Before downloading the app, our advocates ask that you do consider whether it is safe to do so. Some perpetrators may have access to their victim’s technology and can monitor these devises, either physically or remotely”.
As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I always assess for violence during work with a couple. This is done via the Gottman Relationship Checkup and within my evaluation sessions. The current Relationship Check-up has extensive questions, especially about violence, however, I wanted to let you know that there is a new version of this assessment on the horizon. In fact, during March of 2021, the current assessment will be replaced with the new Gottman Connect - A relationship well-being platform. It is much shorter, and research shows it is just as effective as the first one. So, our office will be transitioning to the new assessment in the new year.
In the meantime, I wish you and yours a good holiday season as you navigate this unique environment. I know that many of you will be experiencing stress and loss, so you are in my heart.
All my best wishes for the new and hopefully healthy year ahead!