Even though I spend most of my time these days working with couples, I did my master’s thesis and doctoral dissertation in the area of suicide prevention. My graduate school mentor, Dr. Richard Nelson, was a faculty member in the Counseling Psychology program at KU who also did a lot of consulting with school districts and families following adolescent suicides and in the area of suicide prevention.
Dr. Nelson was a great advisor and mentor who trained me as a presenter and researcher in this important area. In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, I conducted two studies on the suicide incident rates among Kansas children and for my doctoral dissertation, I added a survey of Kansas school counselors’ self-efficacy in suicide intervention. In other words, I asked them how confident they were in assessing suicide risk and how confident they felt in intervening with suicidal students. Unfortunately, the need for these skills has not waned among mental health professionals.
The recent, very public, news of Naomi Judd’s suicide, and a string of talented college athletes taking their own lives has brought suicide once again front and center to the mental health discussion. It is a societal tragedy where we just can’t let up on working towards improving mental health education, and just plain caring for each other. One of the most important and simple pieces of education that I think is important to share is that social support is the number one mediator for depression. In other words, people genuinely caring about other people makes a difference.
I recently attended a college graduation celebration which was a make-up event for the Class of 2020 who had been rapidly sent home and dispersed right around spring break of their senior year. This group of individuals had missed out on all the senior year wrap up traditions of their university. The joy I witnessed as these 2020 graduates, their families, and faculty were reunited was amazing. The power of people being together to celebrate a life milestone and shared achievement cannot be underestimated, even 2 years later. It matters that we are together and that we get together.
The gathering of this Class of 2020 was particularly poignant because their freshman year, they had lost 7 members of their class, primarily to suicide and drug overdoses. 7 people. And this was before the pandemic. As I celebrated with my graduate family member, I couldn’t help but think about those 7 families that did not have a chance to share in this moment with their loved one.
So here are some thoughts and recommendations from me about caring and suicide prevention. What you do and what you say to others matters. Pick up the phone and call or text someone that you are thinking of them. Send a card or email expressing love and support during difficult and normal times. Stay connected to people. Loneliness is a problem. Don’t be afraid to ask if someone is thinking of suicide or harming themselves. Research shows that this does not plant ideas. Most people who are suicidal will be honest with you and thus, this gives you an opportunity to help support them and get them to caring professionals. Finally, just about everyone has had a moment where they have considered suicide, however, being a concerned friend can make a huge difference in helping a person out of that place.
Here are some practical things you can do if you are worried about someone in your life. Share and use the National Suicide Hotline number (800) 273–8255. If your friend or loved one has a therapist or physician, help them contact that professional for support and guidance. Don’t be afraid to call 911 or take someone to the Emergency Department at your local hospital if they have expressed suicidal ideation or intent. Also, it is much better to have an angry friend than keeping a secret about someone being suicidal.
Take advantage of these summer days to gather and reconnect. It has been a long 2 years and we’ve missed each other.
It is time to love.