Tap into Comfort and Fun

Peace and Joy.

I recently caught myself singing in the condiment aisle at the grocery store. It was an old classic rock number that was playing while I was doing some shopping for Thanksgiving. I hadn’t been in this particular store for a while but it was one that I frequented a lot when I was a young mother and lived close by. I’ve always enjoyed shopping at this particular grocery store because they have great, colorful produce and some selections in the deli section that I love. So I was happy to be there.

When I realized I was singing out loud in public, I actually smiled and felt even happier. I immediately made the connection that I actually sing in public quite a lot lately.

About 3 days a week, I try to attend an aquacise class at my local YMCA. Except for the water yoga class, which is conducted mostly (and peacefully) in silence, my other water classes feature dancing or at least movement in water while listening to music. I have often thought, “I wonder what Justin Timberlake would think about a bunch of ladies aquacising to his hits?” In fact, we aquacise to Justin, Ed Sheeran, Bob Sieger, The Beatles, Earth, Wind and Fire, and more. It is so much fun and I think I have a reputation in class for singing loudly and with abandon. I think it taps into my days in show choir in high school.

Peace and Joy. Water and Music.

Right now, I am reading Mariah Carey’s memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey. Let me tell you, this book is stunning. Within the book, Ms. Carey shares how water and music have brought her much needed peace and joy throughout her life. Her Long Island childhood was difficult to say the least. She moved 13 times as a child, living in one place she called “the shack.” Two things she mentions throughout the book are how water and music provided comfort in frequently unsafe and insecure environments.

Both Mariah and her mother prioritized access to music, a piano, and musicians despite being hungry and unkempt at times. Mariah writes how she loved listening to music on the radio.

Her mother loved living near the water so while on Long Island, she tried to find places close to a beach.

As a young adult, struggling in a very difficult marriage, Ms. Carey found solace in her bath tub and her recording studio.

How about you? Where do you find peace and joy? I know that 2024 has held challenges for a lot of folks. So that means, even more, we need to up our peace and joy game. The thing I love about using water and music to provide comfort and fun is that they are generally easily accessible and inexpensive. I mean, you can have an Olympic sized swimming pool, but you can also just take a shower. You can purchase fancy headphones or you can just sing to yourself.

Within the Gottman approach and more broadly in the field of psychology, we emphasize the importance of being able to self-soothe. This is an important life skill and as human beings we are working on this from infancy.

So this holiday season and heading into the new year, I’d like to suggest you explore more ways to find peace and joy in your life. We don’t have to wait for the chaos to stop in order to experience moments of peace and personal happiness. In fact, it is crucial that we learn to create these moments in life so we can continue on in the midst of challenge.

Best wishes for the holiday season and the new year.