Getting marriages started seems to be challenging during this pandemic. Today, I read an article in Bloomberg Businessweek stating that 60% of weddings scheduled for summer 2020 have been pushed to later in the year or to 2021. Then, NBC’s Today Show did a story about how couples and wedding professionals are getting creative with rescheduling nuptials (I learned that “Monday Weddings” are becoming a thing).
I would encourage couples who are having to delay or reschedule their big day to take advantage of the extra time and invest in their relationship by doing some pre-marital counseling or taking one of the Gottman Institute’s workshops. There are so many great ways for couples to interact with the Gottman materials. Certainly, there are couples contacting me for couples’ therapy. I also know of couples who are reading the Gottman’s book Eight Dates, and couples who are working through the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work workbook. Both of these books make great wedding-shower gifts.
Rituals are important in life and marriage. The symbols that are frequently used during a wedding ceremony are powerful and, in many ways, universal. Rings, vows, and having people witness the ceremony all represent how special this moment is in a couple’s life. The Gottmans also emphasize the importance of having regular or daily “rituals of connection”. These provide small opportunities to “turn towards” your partner to strengthen your bond.
Some nice and easy rituals of connections include having coffee or tea together, taking a walk in the morning or the evening, or preparing a meal together. These can also involve young children. You can put away the screens and the cell phones and have what the Gottmans call the “stress-reducing conversation at the end of the day.” Other weekly rituals of connection some couples engage in are: going grocery shopping together, doing yoga or exercising together, or doing a home improvement project together.
One activity that a lot of my couples enjoy is doing a few cards from the Gottman Card Decks. You may remember that earlier in the year, I provided a link for this FREE resource. You can go out to lunch and do a few cards while waiting for your food or do them in the car while on a drive to run an errand or visit family.
You can’t go wrong working to improve your communication skills as a couple. It will reap benefits. Also, it is always great to hear when someone says (after learning the Gottman skills): “You know, I think these could really help my child” or “These would help improve my relationship with a family member.”
Sending good vibes your way as we enter the fall season of the year.
Take some time to get outside and enjoy those last weeks of summer and the beginning of autumn.